Oh, this week someone smuggled a smartphone out of North Korea and what they found on it is absolutely shocking. King Charles became the most famous dog in the world for one very important reason. We had one of the most dangerous cheese rolling events in [Applause] years. We got some apocalyptic scenes coming out of Switzerland. PSG won the Champions League but lost their minds instead of destroying Paris. And we are seeing changes in the German military that we haven't seen since World War II. Oh, and my hay fever is out of goddamn control, so excuse it. All of that and so much more. Subscribe to the channel cuz we got a lot of whippings today. So, let's get And yes, for one of the comments, my neighbors do get scared with the sound of the whip. Let's get why we've had zero noise complaints cuz they're too terrified. Okay, two weeks and two stories about North Korea. They are officially back. So, last week, and you better go watch it, uh we spoke about how Ikim got embarrassed in front of the whole world when his warship sank before it could float. And this week we're talking about what smartphones are like in North Korea because the BBC just posted a video where they got their hands on one that was smuggled out of the country last year and strap in because somehow it's actually worse than I thought. So firstly, one feature that doesn't come as a surprise is that the BBC reporter said that their phones don't have access to the internet. But here's a little bit of a problem with that because remember when the news daddy foreign correspondent went to North Korea like 2 months ago? That's a good video. Watch that one as well. Well, he actually used a bunch of North Korean phones and uh what he showed is that they had dozens of apps. They had delivery services on their phone and they even were able to message each other through in-game chat systems. So, how do you do that without any internet? And I mean, maybe to be fair, like there's like a little internet cafe for where you go with your phone and you connect to Wi-Fi and do those things. Um, so maybe in that sense they don't have connection to the internet. But past all of that, let me actually play the video because this gets crazier. Look what happens when I type in the word oppa. This word literally means older brother in Korean, but people here in South Korea now use it as slang to refer to their boyfriends as well. [Music] When I enter it, it automatically changes to the word comrade and I get this warning. It says, "This word can only be used to describe your siblings." Okay. Okay, my first thought, and I look, I'll admit it, okay? My first thought was, Alex, how do we get that in our comments? Anytime someone comments not subscribed, it should automatically be able to change to whip me. And then that I can just filter through, chuck them on the wall, and figure out the desenter. So, Alex figured that out. Let's continue. Now, look what happens if I type in the word for South Korea, which is Namhan. It automatically changes it to puppet state, which is what the north calls the south in this. Not going to lie, puppet state is crazy. That kind of feels like where we're getting to on TikTok where people are like saying unalived instead of killed or pew pew instead of gun. I feel like the North Koreans are kind of just going to go around it in different ways. Although when your life is on the line, do you even try and go around it? Because the result for us is like, okay, our video gets banned. But for Okay, yeah, maybe they don't. This folder, we can see that the phone is taking a screenshot every 5 minutes or so. But the user can't open these files. Only the authorities can. So they can see when people are looking at or sharing things that they're not supposed to. How insane is that? only 5 minutes to doom scroll and descent is crazy. And it's actually on a serious one, it's pretty crazy when you think about it because usually our phones, let's all be honest for a second here. That's where we store our most private thoughts. We've all googled something, you know, we've all had a question that we would never utter even to our closest wife or brother or girlfriend. It would just be we don't want to, you know, show the world. But just imagine for a second where you don't even have that, right? Can you even imagine that? That is like thought control to the max. And I know what people are going to say. No, our phones aren't private either. I know, but we we're not going to get put in prison for googling when is the release date of Squid Game 3. They literally would, honestly. I mean, like, I wish that that video was longer and they went into more detail about it because a minute and 30 doesn't do this justice. I need to know more. To be fair, if you want to know more about this subject, I did a whole ass video. Uh, Alex, show that there. Go watch that one. Come back or finish the video first. Anyway, all right. But it does give you a perspective, right, of how good you guys have it in the news daddy empire. And I've seen people planning rebellions in the How dare you? In fact, our next story addresses this exact issue. How to rule an empire. Moving on. Okay, you guys need to know about the most famous dog in the world right now because unmissable story. And let me let me tell you how it is. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. Because King Charles rose to global fame after the world realized how he ran his kingdom. And just uh notice the similarities between King Charles and the Supreme Leader of the News Daddy Empire cuz there's there's it's quite uncanny. When King Charles subjects would fight, he would calmly walk over, identify the troublemaker, and then put them in his place, much like I do with Alex. And he usually does this with his signature move of walking over their body. I mean, wild stab in the dog. Can you guess what mine is? Alex. People could not believe that dogs twice his size would cower and bow in the mere presence of his aura. There was no dog that would dare question King Charles's authority. And when there was trouble brewing in the kingdom, he would deal with it in a just manner using exactly the right amount of force necessary. And when the internet saw that he was not only a strong leader, but a fair one, two, they lost their minds. Tik Tok edits started being made of like top five King Charles aura moments. Spoiler. Number three is walking over the ops body. Lessons in meme culture started teaching his class about his rule and his aura, which started in a small little dog kennel all the way out in China, has now spread to global dominance, being witnessed by hundreds of millions of people. But that is not where this story ends because recently a new character has entered the shelter called Tyrant. And I'm not going to lie to you, the unthinkable happened. Not only did he refuse to bow to the king, but he attacked him, forcing Charles to do something we have never seen him do before. Retreat. However, as you can see, the kingdom subjects don't accept Tyrant the way that they accept Charles. only proving that there is more to Charles's power than fear alone. Still though, this threw the entire dogarchy into absolute chaos. Fights were breaking out left, right, and center. So to stop this, tyrant was was taken out and jailed for treason, finally bringing back the much needed harmony and peace to the kingdom. Rebellions still brew each day and Rocky's refusal to accept the rule of law is is getting dangerous. But for now, Charles remains the king. Come on. Come on. What a performance. I mean, like the News Daddy Empire, we haven't had even even a smidgen of of tyrant character in in our empire. It has been I have squashed every rebellion with fierceness. So, yeah. Oh, we'll see. I I'll never rule it out. Keep my whip ready in my holster, but until that day, moving on. Also, this week, we could have woken up to the news that Vladimir Putin is dead. Here's why we didn't. You see, a few days ago, a Russian military officer said that Putin's helicopter was allegedly the target of an assassination attempt by Ukraine. He told RBC News that while Putin was visiting the Kursk region, his helicopter was the at the epicenter of a Ukrainian drone strike. However, he claimed that Russia's air defense systems intercepted this drone and destroyed it before it could reach the president's flight path. And while Ukraine themselves haven't verified yet if this is indeed true, following that alleged incident, Russia this week has now launched its largest aerial assault on Ukraine since the invasion began, resulting in at least 14 civilian deaths and numerous injuries. Now Trump hearing about this, he was pissed. When asked by reporters, he said that Putin has gone quote absolutely crazy and repeated multiple times. I don't know what the hell happened to Putin. I've known him a long time, always gotten along with him, but he's sending rockets into cities and killing people and I don't like it at all. Indicating someone has changed. So that ceasefire that we were thinking was right around the corner, you know, when there the whole Turkey thing was going on. Turns out no, it it wasn't a right around the corner and we're kind of back to square one again. So keep you updated, but moving on. Okay, Alex, roll the clip because what the hell is going on [Applause] here? Honestly, this week we might have just seen one of the most dangerous cheese rolling events that we've had in years. And that is saying something, okay? Because I don't know if you ever seen this event before, but every year it is incredibly dangerous. [Music] Heat. Heat. [Music] [Applause] [Music] In fact, I think it literally doesn't have an event organizer because it's it's tried to be shut down multiple times. It's just got such a long old history that they're like, "We can't take it away." Anyway, unlike many many years before this when it was always raining, so it was muddy and soft. This year, Glosters has actually had a bit of unusual dry and sunny weather, making that hill hard as flipping hell. So much so that among all of the other injuries, two of them had to be rushed to hospital via air ambulance this year. Ha. But you will be shocked to hear that this guy somehow wasn't one of them. According to people that were there, after his brutal backflip, he was laid out on the ground for about 15 minutes getting medical attention before miraculously getting up and walking away. In fact, some of the locals said that they saw him at the pub later on that afternoon. Craziest part about this guy, though, is bro wasn't even competing. He was right at the end of what they call the fun run. So, he wasn't even chasing the cheese. He just was like, "Oh, let's screw it." The person who actually won the whole event was uh German YouTuber Tom Cop, and he's won it for the second year in a row now. But regardless, our backflip man is still the people's champ, and people are saying he should win the cheese for this. Moving on. Speaking about Germany though, let's talk about it. We are currently seeing changes in the German military that we literally haven't seen since World War II. In an unprecedented move this week, it was announced that an active combat brigade made up of 4,800 soldiers and their families will be permanently stationed in Lithuania. And you know what that means? That means this will become Germany's first permanent foreign deployment since World War II. And I wish I could say it was just that, but it's not. There's a bunch. Not only did they double their military spending since the Russia and Ukraine war broke out, but recently they decided that that wasn't enough. And they have now entirely scrapped their military spending from their constitutional debt break, which essentially limits government borrowing. Meaning that again, for the first time since World War II, they've got like a infinite money glitch. Now look, Parliament does still have to approve all military spending, but technically Germany now has a military budget without a limit. But wait, there's more. After World War II, they enacted some of the strictest arms exports laws in the world, agreeing to never send any weaponry to a country that's currently in an act of war. For the first time since World War II, they now do that as well. They also signed a treaty with a country in an act of war, guaranteeing support if hit the fan. They've now purchased a bunch of F-35 fighter jets capable of carrying US nuclear weapons. And lastly, and although it's not yet materialized, in 2011, Germany paused conscription laws that were able to draft fighting men into the military if the country obviously goes to war. But fast forward to today, discussions are now taking place on how and if those laws should be brought back and if women should be a part of it this time. So, a lot of changes, but ultimately the question is falling on two different sides. On the one side, you have people that say, you know, a strong German military brings peace through deterrence, while on the other side, you have people saying that this is a waste of money and it would only trigger a cold war spiral. So, I'll be very curious to hear your thoughts in the comments on this one. But moving on, also this week, apocalyptic scenes in Switzerland. This is truly I Alex, come with the visuals of this one because it is insane. What you are looking at is a glacier collapse that completely buried most of the Swiss village of Blatin. Over 3.5 million cubic meters of ice, rock and snow collapsed, causing this massive landslide which led to about 90% of that village being destroyed. Just look at some of these images of before and after. How terrifying is that? All of them were evacuated and their livestock and pets also evacuated. So, uh, we don't think, at least as we know, uh, anyone has been injured or died in this, luckily. Problem is, though, uh, experts are warning that this is just the beginning. They're saying that as more glaciers melt and the terrain becomes more unstable, landslides like this could become more and more common. For example, like this isn't even the first one. In recent years, in 2023, a huge landslide narrowly missed the town of Breezen in eastern Switzerland. And in 2017, eight hikers were killed when the biggest landslide in over a century occurred in the village of Val. I don't know, man. Valbond. It's It's worse if I try and pronounce it. That one. I would say living in a Swiss village in 2025 surrounded by mountains is equally as dangerous as it is to be these three people. You know why? because I've had it up to here. First of all, couple okay, couple things to say here. First of all, we do not donate and pay to be sacrificial lambs. That is I'm using you as an example of bad behavior. It's turning into some weird kinky thing that you're not supposed to like it. And second of all, rebellions. Ace 1R5 corn casserole. You in particular are getting an extra thrashing because you do not inspire rebellions in the empire. Remember King Charles? He was nice compared to what I'm about to do to your ass. Also, guys, they are going to receive a real ferocious whipping. So, you do need to be like, "Oh, that could be me. I better subscribe. Thank you to them." Um, because I don't want to be them. Point is, put them on the wall. Where's my pen of doom? Let's go up [Music] here. I'm the longest name on the planet. Oh, [ __ ] No. A sh No way that doesn't come off. No way that doesn't come off. Oh my god. I don't even have any water. This is straight up paint. Alex, don't show this. This is embarrassing for a supreme leader. You need to help me out on this one, Alex. You at this point, this is not even subscribing. This is for being bad. You naughty ruined one of my favorite things. I don't even want to do it. Rapid fire news. Sorry. Okay, look. I'll get serious. Also this week, Elon Musk officially left the US government. Uh but in his farewell confidence, bro turned up with a black eye. Now he's being very vocal about like, you know, people wanting to end his life if he pushes too hard and stuff. So that's on the front of the mind when you see that. And so luckily a reporter asked him, "How'd you get the black eye?" And he says this. Yeah. Know I was just horsing around with little X and I said, "Uh, go ahead, punch me in the face." And he did. Turns out even a 5-year-old punching you in the in the face actually does. That was ex X could do it. Now, what I will say is that this whole interview is a little bit strange. Not just that answer. And I'm saying it's strange because it's so different to the first one that he had in that Oval Office when Elon did most of the speaking and Trump was kind of just sat there. This time Trump didn't even really kind of like closed him out the conversation. And his saying that, you know, it's like it it could have been from his kid. Let's be honest. But the reason why I'm so suspicious is because of our next story. Next, Emmanuel Macron and Breijit. What the hell happened there? Obviously, they were in mid-con conversation when one of the staff opened the door. Didn't expect that. And then we saw this. And the reason why I'm a little bit sus about the Elon one is because you know what? This is just ridicul. You know what they tried to say to play this off? So, remember, we saw this with our own eyes and Macron says that they were just horsing around. They're joking around and this was a you ready a moment of closeness, bro. Try to 180 it into like this is just us showing our love for each other. Oh my darling. Oh my darling. Are you having another nightmare? I'm sorry. No one's buying that. We literally didn't see you smile or laugh once. In fact, you were like balling up. You looked pissed, bro. So when something happens like that the they are going to lie especially if it's something like and we we our side we have to acknowledge that right but again with Elon I'm not too sure I'm just suspicious. Relax. PSG just won the Champions League for the first time in their history. And you would think that they'd be super happy, right? Yeah. They were so happy that they looted stores, vandalized buildings, set fire to bus shelters and bins, and two people even died. The completely normal way to celebrate when you're happy, right? Honestly, I bet the French government is is kind of confused right now between what is a protest and what is a celebration because both of them end up in the same way in France. Approximately 5,400 police were deployed across Paris in anticipation for the celebration to potentially get out of hand and out of hand they did get 192 people injured. 22 police officers were injured. Seven firefighters were injured. Nearly 600 people were arrested across France. 491 in Paris alone. And as I mentioned, tragically, two people died in this. What is going on in France next? Oh, and also what's going on in China? What you are looking at is a new technique developed in Shungyong, China, uh, to help people fall asleep. Now, the idea to swing from your neck was invented by a guy that was trying to treat cervical spondylosis, which is uh, neck arthritis. And he claims that this swinging motion reduces stiffness in the neck allowing for a more comfortable sleep. Believe it or not, you know, people people say that this works. Hordes of people each week turn up to do this. Problem is, if you do it incorrectly, according to actual medical doctors since we don't know if this guy has any medical training, apparently it could be really bad. You got a lot of really delicate nerves, muscles, and ligaments in your neck. So, I don't know what the correct way to swing from your neck is, but apparently there is one. So, will this cure your insomnia? Maybe. Will it snap your spine? Maybe. Ah, okay. I think that is all for today, guys. I need to go clean up all my [ __ ] Um, if this is if this is stained permanently, I will be furious. But we survived another week. You should be proud of yourself. Give yourself a whip on the back for for getting through. I will see you guys on Wednesday. Hey, sorry. My Oh, my nasal cavities have blocked. I have to do the rest of the day in this. Holy, that's better. And when the internet know you can't even hear my voice now. Thankfully that village's population only about 300 and the world's first whipping sneeze. That's got to be That's got to be