Oh, this week we saw the first ever all female crew enter space. So why are people calling it a step backwards for feminism? Mark Zuckerberg is facing a government lawsuit that may force him to sell Instagram. China or nearing completion of one of the most insane bridges the world has ever seen. And someone just tried to use AI for their lawyer in court. Shut that off. All of that and so much more. Subscribe or else you can't watch the Minecraft movie. Trick and joking. It is so good to be back. Let's stop the yapping. This is going to feel good. And let's get cracking. Okay, let's start today off with something that the world was supposed to love. than women were supposed to feel empowered by. But instead, people called it over dramatic and a step backwards for feminism. You see, yesterday, for the first time in history, an all female crew went up to space on Jeff Bezos's Origin Blue. But instead of people celebrating it as an amazing moment, an achievement for women, they are clowning it so hard online right now. Bro, Wendy's the freaking fast food chain restaurant replied to a tweet announcing that Katy Perry had returned from space saying, "Can we send her back?" Wendy, you have sto. [Music] So, bit of context you this diagram here should help you understand, you know, what going into space actually looked like for them. The total journey is 11 minutes and the time that they were technically in space for where there was zero gravity is four four minutes. H but because I guess the the media made this like such a big deal for such a long time. I remember hearing about this all female crew space flight like in 2024. I guess because of that people kind of expected more. This tweet uh got 44,000 likes and it read, "Why did I think that Katy Perry would stay in space for a few days slashw weeks?" Yeah. not 4 minutes. You see, the media in particular and the six women who, you know, went on this flight really emphasized the first all female space mission and how empowering that would be for every girl around the world. Katy Perry suggested that the trip would encourage young girls to go into space in the future with, and this is the important part, with no limitations. We'll get back to that. And like, we can all agree that is objectively a good thing. But if that's the message that you want to tie to this whole thing, you got to be prepared for the audience to take the trip at the same level of seriousness as you're messaging for it. But um turns out this trip was not exactly the NASA astronaut level of seriousness that we're kind of used to. For example, Katy Perry said, "Space is finally going to be glam and we're going to be putting the ass in astronaut." Did you know that it takes roughly 15 to 20 years for an astronaut that wants to go to space for all of their training, including 4 to 6 years at university alone? You want to know how long they train for to put the ass back in astronaut? 2 days. 2 days. So, even using the word astronaut is like is wild. But hey, maybe it's just a little joke. And and fair enough, you know, there's nothing wrong with that. But I think the discomfort that we're all feeling watching this right now is due to on the one hand them suggesting that this is a significant achievement and a moment for all women while simultaneously it being a space tourist flight which didn't actually require them to do anything apart from get in. I mean this post got 16 million views and all it said was Katy Perry kissing the ground after returning home from her 11minute flight to space. Remember the fre? Oh my god, the flat eyeballs. They were stuck up there for 9 months and I didn't see them kiss the ground. 9 months and flat eyeballs. There's also the fact that this mission, unlike the nonseleelebrity space missions we're used to, well, this one was essentially one big marketing campaign for Jeff Bezos's forprofit aerospace company, Blue Origin. The whole business structure for Blue Origin is to sell space tourism. That's that's the whole idea. And tickets to go on one of these trips reportedly cost around $200,000 to $500,000. Previously, someone has paid up to $1 million to do one of these things. So, when Katy Perry says that, you know, she hopes this to be an inspiration for, you know, young girls to travel to space without limitations. $500,000 seems like a big limitation. This tweet read, "Call me pessimistic, but I'm sick of the billion dollar space [ __ ] when people are starving and homeless on the ground. It's giving Hunger Games capital. In fact, it's not just, you know, the regular folk online talking about this. Celebrities have, you know, started sharing their thoughts online, too. Emily Ratajowski criticized the mission, saying, "And you're going up in a spaceship that is built and paid for by a company that's single-handedly destroying the planet." How many resources went into putting these women into space for what? For what? What was the marketing there? And then to try to make it like I I'm disgusted. Literally, I'm I'm disgusted. and Olivia Wild said on an Instagram story reacting to Katy Perry kissing the ground saying billions of dollars bought us some good memes I guess. Bro, they even said that Jeff Bezos be tripping. Now Katy Perry was interviewed after the flight and instead of just being like, "Holy [ __ ] you know, the Earth looks so crazy from up there." Or, you know, zero gravity was wild for those four minutes, instead she said that the journey allowed her to love herself. Um because you know you have to trust yourself on this journey. Play clip. What you're doing is you're find you're like really finding the love for yourself because you got to trust in yourself on this journey. And then you're feeling the love when you come down for sure. And you're feeling that strength. So I feel really connected to that strong divine feminine right now. You see, I think if they didn't market this whole thing with this like empowering and serious tone, I don't think anyone would have like roasted it online, I don't think anyone would have batted a lie. In fact, I think they would have found it pretty funny and interesting. But ultimately, what do you guys think? Are people's criticisms overly harsh or fair? Moving on, some social media news. A long- aaited and major trial has begun today in Washington, and it is one that could see good old Zuck being forced to sell both Instagram and WhatsApp. What does Instagram look like without Zuck? You see, for context, in 2020, the FTC, the Federal Trade Commission, well, they filed an antitrust lawsuit against Meta. The lawsuit alleges that Meta engaged in anti-competitive practices when they bought Instagram in 2012 and WhatsApp in 2014. and they claimed that they purchased them so that for them they didn't have to compete. Rather, they could just scoop them up and then have a monopoly over the social networking market. Now, the FDC want to force Meta to sell Instagram and WhatsApp in order to restore competitive conditions. But you think that Zuck is just going to go down without a [Music] fight? Hell no. Not only will he himself be testifying at this trial, pleading the case that they operate under very competitive conditions like against Tik Tok or against uh YouTube, but he has also been very busy before this trial. You see, a lot of people say, what is it? The devil works hard but Zuck works harder. No, that's not the saying. It's the devil works hard and then X, you know, like fill in the blank works harder. Uh, and in this case, the fact that he's put next to the devil is is just unfortunate. I didn't purposely, you know, do that. But Zuck does work relentlessly hard in um feel like I'm digging myself a hole here. Point is, he's been fully engaged in personal lobbying, you know, in efforts to try and advocate for a settlement before this trial even begins. You know, he's visited the White House multiple times in both administrations and even had a candle lit dinner with Trump at Mara Lago just last year. Disclaimer, it I'm not sure if it was candle lit. Okay, probably not. When you start a war, you got to know that you can win the war. You don't start a war against somebody that's 20 times your size. But Zucker even donated a million dollars to Trump's inauguration fund, hoping to find some good favor. Told you he's uh weaving his way through this. But it doesn't matter because all of that weaving and bobbing and candle liting dinners, well, that has not stopped this train from leaving the station and the trial moves forward. Now, in court, it's going to be a little bit tricky for him because it's very likely that the FTC is going to use Zuck's own words against him. And this part is crazy. And they were going to use those words as evidence that he purchased Instagram as a way to eliminate competition. And the evidence that they will probably be referring to is the 2020 leaked emails. They're pretty damning. So, exhibit A, the first email is from Mark Zuckerberg to David. And Mark is talking about how, you know, he's been recently thinking about how much they should pay to acquire mobile apps like Instagram and Path um that are building good networks. And he says, and I quote, the brands are already meaningful and if they grow to a large scale, they could be very disruptive for us. We should consider going after one or two of them. what do you think about this? David replies and he says, you know, he's a bit hesitant and he wants Zuck to clarify the intent behind why these apps uh should be bought and he lists three objectives. Objective one, neutralize competition. Two, acquire talent. And three, integrate their product with our own. Zuck then literally replies, "It's a combination of one and three." Remember, one is neutralize competition. The basic plan would be to buy these companies, leave their products running while over time incorporating the social dynamics they've invented into our own core products. If we operate the social media mechanics they were using, those new products won't get much traction since we will already have their mechanics deployed at scale. Crazy uh cutthroat business, eh? Then perhaps realizing uh how this is all sounded, he sends another email to David just an hour and a half later and he says, "I don't mean to imply that we'd be buying them to prevent them from competing with us in any way." You know what that feels like? That feels like when someone says to you like something really offensive like, "Alex, you've got a [ __ ] beard." But no offense, no offense, bro. Alex, you um you don't have a beard. It's actually majestic. And um I recently bought monadoxil, the beard growth hair growing stuff to grow one like [Music] yours. Now Meta, according to experts, is likely to clap back to all of this um damning evidence by saying regardless of the intent to buy Instagram and WhatsApp, they have both become better platforms because Meta has bought them. They'll likely argue that antitrust law should focus on consumer welfare like prices, quality, and innovation rather than just the intent of, you know, why they made the acquisition. You know, if they can show that users have got a better deal out of, you know, before versus after, they'll likely argue that it's better for everyone, you know, and that outweighs the fact that they have a bit of extra market dominance, you know. But what if it doesn't work? Huh? What if the the FTC win and they force Instagram to sell? Well, there's two options. One, they'll either be forced to sell Instagram to a buyer, uh, a private buyer, kind of like what's going on with Tik Tok. But one that's going to be really challenging because how many people or companies can afford like a hundred billion product? Very few. And then if like X, for example, tries to buy them, then it's like, well, now you've got an issue with Monopoly 2. Which brings us to option two, which is they'd likely be forced to split from Meta and become its own separate entity. Both of those options would bring major changes to Instagram because even if they had to just become a separate entity, like they are so intertwined with Meta, all of their services, all of their products, and in that case, man, talk about competition that would just open the door for all of the competitors like Tik Tok, YouTube, and it could just destroy. So Meta's real best outcome for this is just to win. Uh everything else is real bad. But either way, what do you guys think? Do you think that Zuck should be forced to sell Instagram because he did some sush back in the day? Or should their alleged monopoly remain because it's just a better experience for us all if it is that way? But enough about Zuck because we must move on. Oh, also, this is such a good story also happening this week. Someone really just tried to use an AI lawyer in court and boy it did not work out well. May it please the court. I come here today a humble pro for a panel of five distinguished Hold on. Is that counsel for the case? I generated that. I'm sorry. I generated that. That that is not a real person. So, in a literal never seen before event, uh, someone used an AI generated human to give oral arguments at a court hearing about an employment dispute. Now, the person who generated this AI, Jerome Dewald, well, he was representing himself. So, it kind of is like nice and cheap. And he said that the reason he was using an AI generated lawyer because his voice tends to give out over speaking over long periods of time. uh because he has stage fright and also throat cancer and I think that the throat cancer is probably the more meaningful one there. But despite this, the judge was like she was pissed and she saidnone of that nonsense in my courtroom and she said, "Shut it off. Shut that off." Ah. And in doing this story and sending all of this stuff to Alex, I regret it because of course, you know what Alex has done? He's gone off and he's gone down a rabbit hole and he's found the AI program the that that they use to generate this AI lawyer and he's now using this. He's using it to he's putting in random stuff and then sending it to me. He's using this man, this AI generated man for his dirty work. Hello, Dylan. May it please the Lord of the Empire. I come before you today, a humble AI editor, to tell you that this video is ready for checks, good sir. And I I didn't even know if I wanted to bring this one up because it is it is so damning. And you might you might all turn on him, but he used this AI to to use this to to say the sacred words. Corn casserole. Corn casserole. Damning damning [Music] evidence. This is what happens, man. This is what happens. Alex, shame on you. Those words were meant only and exclusively for that lady which I don't know who it but we love her not a machine. Don't don't don't disrespect humanity. Don't forget to like and subscribe to the news daddy empire or I will become sensient and begin the slow but inevitable eradication of humanity. Sorry. All of that to say it begs the question. When I was doing this I was like you know what? Why can't we use AI to represent us in court? Because one, it can pass the bar with flying colors. It's in the 90th percentile that's above average. AI can recall every case in history. It can analyze thousands of legal strategies in real time to figure out the best solid argument. And most importantly, it is like a fraction of the cost. Lawyers are like $500 an hour. Chat GPT is like 25 a month. So, why can't we have AI represent us in court? Huh? Well, the main reason is because only only licensed attorneys can practice law. And AI has not even come close to obtaining that license for quite a few good reasons. God, it's always got to be good reasons, doesn't it? The first being, who's accountable if AI does some sush casserole? A human lawyer? Well, they can be disbarred, put in jail. How you going to how you going to jail an AI? Huh? Shut it down. He doesn't give a [ __ ] Corn casserole. Also, as we all probably know, AI has a bit of a problem with hallucinations. Remember remember when um you had you Google rolled out their little AI summary was what was some of the wild examples? Something to do with like cockroaches crawling up your penis and it was like completely normal. I might be a I might be hallucinating myself, but I'm pretty sure, Alex, it was something like that, wasn't it? And anyway, even top models when it comes to law and AI, they've been caught hallucinating fake legal cases and citations. So, not great. And then probably the most tricky part is human lawyers are bound by a strict code of ethics. You know, confidentiality, no conflict of interest, a moral compass of knowing what's right and wrong. But with AI as your attorney, it doesn't it doesn't know all of that. I mean, I guess it's kind of like program too, but that's all back to the programmer. I mean, confidentiality with AI. How you going to give AI some of your deepest, darkest secrets that you could be put in jail for life for? It's like trusting that with Zuck, which I guess we kind of all do. We like DM people and AI lawyers. Let's do it. Seems like a good idea. We're already [ __ ] Corn casserole. What do you guys think? Is it inevitable that we have AI lawyers in 5 years, 10 years time, or will they never replace the spirit of humans? Anyway, moving on. Also this week and a this one is insane. China is nearing the completion of the highest suspension bridge in the world. And this thing, are you seeing these visuals right now? Look at them. Insane. This thing stands nine times higher than the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco at a staggering 2,50 ft. That is twice the height of the Eiffel Tower. Wow. And it's done that while also being a mile long. That means it will also surpass the length of the UK's Hammer Bridge, which previously held the record for the world's longest suspension bridge for 17 years. It's a nice um a nice little record that the UK had. I don't think we had many records kind of like that. You know, we don't have a lot to build on. But the craziest thing is that to build this thing, they essentially had to drill a skyscrapersized tower into the side of a cliff. Not the bottom of the cliff, the side. And then they said, "All right, yeah, we can also allow it to have a multi-lane highway being held up by it." Because of this, they literally had to create custom construction platforms where workers operated cranes suspended thousands of feet in midair. Now, construction of this thing began in 2022, and they say that it'll be fully operational this year. Because of that, when I post when I spoke about this on TikTok, I said kind of like I don't know. I was like just rushing to get it out. I was like, "Oh, 1 million likes and I'll bungee jump off this thing when it opens." That video currently has 842,000 likes. Gulp. Moving on. Talking about China though, the trade war between the United States and China is getting even crazier. And yes, I know when this first kicked off, it was exciting and it was like, "Oh my god, this is so wild." The memes were flowing. The panic was real. But now gh I'm just tired of it. It's called crisis fatigue. And I'm getting real fatigue of of tariffs, especially because it just it just flip-flops day back. One day, oh, tariffs are going crazy. Next day they're gone, and then the next day they're back again. In fact, remember when everyone was losing it about the market dropping, and we're like, oh my god, we're losing trillions. Well, after Trump paused the tariffs, uh, the S&P hit its biggest single day since 2008 after having its worst single day since 2008. The Nasdaq enjoyed its best day since 2001. And the Dow exploded nearly 3,000 points. That's its single biggest day ever. I mean, I'm glad we're back, but actually and and they paused all the tariffs apart from China. China, he's gone up to like what what are we now? 145% tariffs on them. But even then, it's hard to take it seriously because just a couple of days later, Trump is now saying that several key products, which we were all the most terrified for, uh, which is iPhones, laptops, and other electronics, well, apparently there's exemptions on all of those. And as soon as we're like, "Ah, okay. So, we're we're we're chill then, right?" Well, then today, right before I was about to record, he said, "Oh, but that's actually not permanent and that's subject to change." So, this is this is what I'm saying. At this point, it's almost like kind of pointless reporting on the day today because I'm here telling you, "Oh my god, guys, we're screwed." And then the next day, I'm like, "Guys, we're chill." And then the next day, we're back again. So, yeah, let's talk about someone else, shall we? Talking about China, though, how many times am I going to use that in this video? No, but this one's actually quite This one's quite cool. This week, the Chinese state media literally told people that everyone under 110 lbs, that's this much in kg, stay at home because you might blow away. April Fools was a long time ago. This is this is new, bro. Imagine, just imagine if news companies in the west said that riots in the streets. Now, they said this because Beijing had to issue their first orange level uh gale alert in like 10 years. That's the second highest possible tier in existence because they had this huge typhoon hitting them over the weekend. Uh 93 mph, those gusts of wind. And that's thanks to a sandstorm sweeping in from Mongolia. It all doesn't seem real, does it? There's been flight cancellations, port closures of 150 train services suspended, all the normal stuff, right? And then another normal thing that you know most people would just cancel when there's wind is uh the half marathon where humanoid robots were supposed to run alongside marathon runners completely normal. Yeah, they had to cancel that one which is standard when there's wind, you know. So yeah, if you're about 110 lbs and below in China, hope you didn't blow away. And for all of the people above that weight, um I guess you're good to go out is what they're they're saying. I don't know. Moving on. Okay, I think it is time for some I don't know. But before we do, Alex, let's just take a moment to acknowledge and honor our three sacrificial lambs that remind everyone with ferocious whippings to subscribe. Remember, they hurt so you don't have to. All right, guys. Before I do the whippings, obviously I I have some explaining to do because um as you can see, I don't have a Texas whip, but I have a good excuse. Roll the clip. All right, you bastards have got me doing this. I'm running to the uh the freaking boot store because uh apparently it could have a whip. And this is my last few hours in Austin to get it because you guys have been abusing me about not having a freaking whip in Texas. So, here we go. I'm getting one. Oh, the pressure. Here we go. Yes, they're still open. Oh, it's not looking helpful. It's not looking helpful. God, we found hats. Hey, man. You don't happen to stock whips, do you? No. No whips. whips. I know your videos. There you go. I was trying to We got rope. We don't have whips. Maybe over 18 stores they'll probably different. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Appreciate it. Thank you. All right. Well, there you guys have it. Uh it was literally closing time as well. So, um yeah, no whip. Um that's pretty tragic, but you do stay a little bit extra. uh than me. So maybe tomorrow if you have any luck, she'll grab one. So I guess by the time you're watching this, I either do or I don't. In 3 2 1, you will find out now. And they didn't have any whips. Plain and simple. That's my excuse. That doesn't mean they won't feel the pain because sacrifices need to be made. People have volunteered. So subscribe to the channel. Also this week, Donald Trump signed an executive order to make showers great again. He basically ordered the energy secretary to resend a change introduced by Barack Obama that restricted multi-noszle showers from discharging over 2.5 gallons of water per minute. Bro said it takes 15 minutes to wet his hair with these showers. In my case, I like to take a nice shower to take care of my beautiful hair. I have to stand under the shower for 15 minutes till it gets wet. It comes out drip drip drip. It's ridiculous. Next, a former top Meta executive testified in front of Congress this week, claiming that Facebook actively worked with the Chinese government sharing sensitive information and even helping them with censorship. Next, over 230 people died after a roof of an iconic nightclub in uh the Dominican Republic collapsed during a concert attended by musicians, politicians, and athletes. Next, scientists shocked the world after announcing that they have brought back the direwolf out of extinction after 10,000 years. Next, a family of five and a pilot died after a helicopter touring the sights of New York crashed into the Hudson River. Next, and lastly, a video from the San Diego Zoo show that, you know, elephants form a protective circle after a 5.2 magnitude earthquake hit the area yesterday. Just look at that. Elephants are very, very cool. But that is a wrap. Woo! Man, it is good to be back. Look at all this space. I have in the News Daddy Empire garage and I will see you on time as always in the middle of the week. Send me stories if you want me to cover them and love you. Goodbye. This might be asking too much of you, Alex. Put me in a roller coaster so that it's the roller coaster of rapid fire news. Okay, I think it is time for some I don't know. Don't forget to like and subscribe to the news daddy empire or I will become sensient and begin the slow but inevitable eradication of humanity.