Oh, this week Donald Trump singlehandedly crashed the global stock market and then casually said, "Don't panic. It looks like hell just opened up in Malaysia. We made history because for the first time ever, humans orbited Earth's poles. Someone really made a vape connected to a Tamagotchi that dies if you stop puffing." We got India GTA 6 before GTA 6. And everyone needs to pay attention to what's happening in China right now because for countries like the United States, it is terrifying. All of that and so much more today. Subscribe or else let's see what we have today. Alex will tickle your toes at night. God goodness. Right, let's stop the yapping and let's still don't have a whip in Texas, but I've laid this out for us. Stop the yapping and let's get cracking. Pathetic. I know. But it's as good as we've got. God, the day that I we get back and we get the full whip again, I might just do a full episode of just whippings. Okay, so we got to start off with by far the biggest news of the week. As I record, markets around the world are literally crashing right now. It is panic in the streets. And we got here in as little as I think it was 5 days because as you already know, middle of the week on Wednesday, Trump announced tariffs on the world. Like, okay, 185 countries, basically the world. I think there was only a couple of countries like surprisingly Russia and North Korea that got spared. Okay. Now, the biggest question for all of these countries that have been slapped to the tariffs is to negotiate or to retaliate. Which do we choose? For the vast majority of these countries, it's been negotiate. Because let's be honest, there are actually very few countries that are in a position of leverage against America that can actually meaningfully retaliate. So with that in mind, around 50 countries have already contacted the White House this weekend alone to start those trade negotiations with Trump. The big aim for Trump with all of these tariffs is to reduce the trade deficit that they have with many countries. That essentially means that, you know, if the US buys $100 billion worth of goods from the UK, but the UK only buys $40 billion from the United States, well then that trade deficit is $60 billion. Trump wants to close that gap with many countries. And to be fair, you are already seeing some of them come to Trump already this weekend and saying like, well, we'll promise to you buy more, invest more in the United States. However, some pointed out and very validly that the poorer countries that trump tariffs like Madagascar and Lutu, well, of course, they're not going to be buying as much from the United States that the United States is buying from them. So, I don't even know what they're supposed to do to reduce that trade deficit. Either way, though, there are a few countries like China, Canada, and Belgium that have chosen to retaliate. And they announced counter tariffs, like the big one, China. They announced 34% tariffs on US goods. And boy, that did not go down well with Trump. He said, "How dare you do to me what I just did to you?" And so, guess what? Literally before I recorded this video, he posted on Truth Social and he said that China has until tomorrow, the day that you're watching this, to take back their 34% retaliatory tariffs uh that they placed on American goods. If they do not withdraw them, Trump said that he will impose additional tariffs on China of a staggering 50%. And he really capitalized additional. So I think what is the tariffs currently, Alex? show that an additional 50% would be a total of that. So, I don't know, is it in like the 70%, Alex? I'm not even too sure right now. And they apparently will come into effect on April the 9th. So, the day after you watch this, he said on top of those tariffs, if they do not take them back, then all talks with China concerning their requested meetings with the United States will be terminated. He said 50% more and we're not speaking to you. And we've got a good story coming up about China situation, so get wrapped in for that. Anyway, all of this tariff news and tariffs, tariffs, taxes, godamn, it didn't go down well in America because huge protests on the weekend erupted nationwide. On the weekend alone, we saw the largest single day of demonstrations against Trump since he returned to the White House. There was an estimated 1,200 protests in all 50 states, even Alaska. Seems crazy, but yeah, apparently there were more anti-Trump protests around the world as well in like Paris, Berlin, and London. Speaking of London though, the UK's prime minister, Kia Starmer, well, he reacted to this whole situation by making a bombshell statement. Just just listen to what he said. He said, "The world as we know it has gone." This seems a bit traumatic, but anyway, it could be true. Trump has done something that we don't agree with, but there's a reason why people are behind him on this. The world has changed. Globalization is over, and we are now in a new era. Other things that happened in the wake of Trump's tariffs is Land Rover paused all shipments to the United States. Nintendo pulled Switch 2 pre-orders from Americans. Oh my god. and Hyundai. They reported the second largest sales month in the company's history as people are flocking to buy American cars to try and beat these tariffs. And this is all while Ford, an American company, did the exact opposite. They said that not only will we not increase the prices, but they are actually discounting them, saying we're giving all Americans employee prices for a couple of months. They call the campaign from America for America. Now, as you'd imagine, all of this chaos isn't isolated. It hit the markets hard. Now, the following is from the time of recording, so it might look slightly different from when you watch this, but I don't imagine it could be worse. Let's it could be worse. Now, as of recording, the US markets have pretty much just opened. Uh, and so all of the major indexes uh are down yet again. So, 3 to 4% for most of them. And that brings the S&P 500's 3-day losses to around 13%. That's the biggest, you know, drop in that time frame since the financial crisis of 2008. China, well, they didn't have a good night overnight. Uh, they suffered the worst single day crash since financial crisis 2008. Hong Kong's market, they suffered the steepest single day decline in nearly three decades. It got worse for Taiwan because they had their biggest drop ever flat out in their history. Japan, they had to halt trading. Italy is down. Saudi is down. Germany is down. France, UK, India, Australia, you name a country. Yeah, they're probably down. Remember we said that Russia didn't even get hit with tariffs? Well, they're down as well. We're all cooked. And that's just Monday. So, got a long week ahead of us still. I laugh with tears in my eyes. News Daddy stock. No, News Daddy stock would be up. It's a great time for news, honestly. Um, unfortunately, let's be honest. But it's only going to get crazier, so you better subscribe. But, you know, there are some words of uh reassurance. All right? Because Donald Trump said, "Do not panic." He said, "The United States has a chance to do something that should have been done decades ago." He said, "Be strong, courageous, and patient, and greatness will be the result." Damn. But what do you guys think? Is all of this chaos that's going on right now a necessary step for a better future for America and the world? Or is this the new normal and we're cooked? Let me know in the comments. But we must move on because we've had a busy week and we need to get through it. Okay, let's talk about it. This is the subject that is a banger. We need to talk about China because what's happening over there right now for many countries, mostly for the United States, but many countries is terrifying. You see, for a while now, cheap corn casserole it from China. Um, well, I imagine he's going to blurp it out to be cheap corn casserole from China. Cheap corn casserole from China has been the perception of products coming out of the country for a while now, right? You see something made in China and you're like, joking that we're not always like that. But look, I'm making a point here. And for years, while companies like Tesla, for example, blew up, um there was a real hesitation still to buy Chinese cars. However, fast forward five short years and China's now exploded to become the world's largest car producer and exporter flat out. I mean, just look at that graph. Just how they skyrocketed above everyone. It's unbelievable. In fact, last year 2024, China sold 50% more foreign exports of cars than the next largest foreign exporter of cars in the world. 50% more than second place is crazy. Their largest car company, BYD, has now also overtaken Tesla, which is currently the world's most valuable company. And they've exceeded them in both revenue and car sales. And it's only expected to get crazier from here. I know it's pretty crazy to where we're at now. It's going to get crazier because BYD's newest EV factory will span 50 square miles. I know that means nothing to you. It's the size. Actually, it's bigger than the city of San Francisco. A factory. That is a level of production that most countries, in fact, I don't think any countries will be able to compete with. And the thing is, it's not just electric cars. long-term game plan that China has been implementing for the last 15 years is seemingly all kicking in now. Just this week, China's flying taxis were granted the world's first operation certificates. You might have even seen Speed fly in one. And for context, that is the final regulatory green light that they needed to start flying, meaning autonomous air taxi services will begin this year in China. That's crazy. Meanwhile, in the United States, Tesla is struggling to get regulatory approval for Matrix headlights. I mean, god damn. Also, in the past 15 years, China's built the planet's largest high-speed rail network, 48,000 km of track. But, you know, you're hearing a lot of cool stuff, but here's where things get interesting. Because Joe Biden attributed, you know, China's meteoric rise to unfair business. And hear me out here because I think he has a valid point. You see, unlike companies in the west which are you separate from the government, in China they're kind of not. Meaning that if the CCP wanted to become the world's leader when it comes to cars, for example, they can just take enormous amounts of money and pour it into these private companies like for example BYD. And this allows these Chinese companies to bypass all of those really hard, struggling stages that companies in the west would have to deal with. With CCP government funding, they can rapidly expand and scale. They can have aggressively lower prices than the competition. They have reduced financial risk because they've literally got the Chinese government at their back. And ultimately, they can flood the global market with cars that are not just cheaper than the competition, but more advanced, too. I've been in those cars. They are objectively amazing and better than anything else I've been in. And the thing is, consumers don't often care about how a company has come to their final price. If it's cheaper and it's better, most likely they're just going to buy it. And that is exactly why the US and many other countries around the world have implemented like 100% tariffs on these cars to make them more expensive. Because if they didn't and they let all of these Chinese cars flood the US market, for example, they would destroy local companies. Because if you think about it, it's not just an unlevel playing field. It's an entirely different playing field altogether. And that's the tricky problem that we're in now. You know, people in the west, I've looked at the comments on my Tik Toks and stuff like that. We're looking at all of these amazing things coming out of China and then we're seeing, you know, them asked like their own government, like the US government saying, why are you purposefully not allowing us to have this, especially at a time where there's a cost of living crisis? And so that's the question I want to pose to you guys. Is it fair for a government to protect local companies from unfair business? Or should markets just be left to decide winners and losers naturally? Genuinely, I'm very conflicted about this. So, I would love to read your answers in the comments. But with that being said, let's move on. Also, this week, we witnessed history, which feels like we witness history every week, because for the first time ever, humans have entered an orbit over Earth's poles, north and south. And for context, this has never been done before surprisingly because most of the time that humans go up into space on a rocket, they enter in low inclination orbits. That's the kind of level where, you know, the International Space Station sits and where those astronauts got stranded for 9 months with flat eyeballs. Don't bring that back. But polar orbits like this one, well, they go much further into space. That kind of way like the satellites chill. So, while yes, we've had satellites go over the Earth's poles, humans themselves, we never actually have done this because it's a lot harder. It's more complex, it's more fuel intensive, and it's kind of just like why? And that's why this is so much crazier as to like why now, right? Well, uh, a cryptobillionaire named Mr. Wang. Well, he paid SpaceX an undisclosed amount of money to basically send him up there with a couple of other people because, and that's the question because we don't really have an answer to that. It's more just like why not? So, he had about 3 to 5 days, you know, passing over the North and South Pole multiple times a day. And bro even posted this this picture on X using his Mac I think it is or an iPad in space saying are we the first generation of digital nomads in space. That's that's cra that what a crazy picture. Imagine having the earth as a background for your picture. Like the entire earth that's crazy. So the question is what do you guys think? Is this money well spent or well wasted? Moving on. Oh, this one. Do I even want to do this one? This one's so crazy. All right. Yeah, screw it. We're doing it this week. People really made a vape connected to a tomagotchi. I'm sure you know that game. And the tomagotchi dies if you don't puff on your vape. Now, it was made by students at a New York University event called the stupid hackathon. And originally when they made this thing, the idea was that your pet, your virtual pet would die if you puff. So to help you quit vaping. But after making that product, they were like, h, and I quote, they said it would be kind of funnier to be evil. So they reversed it. And like they fully committed to the evil mode, too, because they even came up with a satirical backstory saying that their product will help reverse the year-on-year decrease in kids vaping in America. That's crazy. They called it a vapagotchi. And uh the pet's health is constantly falling, but it only gets a boost when or if you puff. So the question is like is this just a silly little joke product that would never hit the market or if it did actually hit the market would people would people buy it? I don't know. Let me know. But moving on. Oh and moving on to something just visually what the corn casserole because it looks like hell. Literal hell just whoop opened up and came out of Malaysia this week. Police said that on Tuesday a YouTuber recorded a segment of something called rapid fire. Plausible. It is plausible. No. Basically on Tuesday, apparently a gas pipeline exploded and it caused a massive massive fiery mushroom cloud stretching about 20 stories high. And this thing burnt for like several hours. The blast left this huge crater. It singed houses and cars around it, injured 145 people, including children. 67 people are being treated in hospitals, mostly for second and third degree burns, but luckily no one was killed. They said that restoring this area could take a full year. Onward. Okay, prepare yourself for this next one because I don't even know how to describe it. Just strange and weird and insane. So, this teacher, Christina Formela, well, she was arrested this week during a traffic stop for Here we go. Ready? Assaulting her 15-year-old student. You want to know what's crazy? Her husband was in the car when she was arrested. Excuse me, is my husband coming with? I really would prefer that my husband's with me, of course. So, you know what that means? Not only did the husband, not only did bro get cheated on, right, it goes way worse because the guy she told him not to worry about was a minor and and then she gets arrested for he has to watch her getting arrested for this as well. How many levels of worse could you get than just cheating? That might be the worst. Now, the police were notified about this whole situation after the boy's mother discovered texts between him and the teacher. And apparently this happened during a personal tutor session. Christina says the allegations are completely false and that everyone just comes after her because she's goodlooking in court. Um she argued once like all of the text messages came out and stuff like that. You want to know her version of the story? She claimed that one day the boy grabbed her phone unattended and entered her passcode. He had then sent all of these messages to his phone. He then deleted the messages from her phone and then saved it to his phone as blackmail. Now, the 30-year-old special education teacher and football coach has been charged with multiple felonies, including aggravated criminal abuse with a victim under the age of 18 while being in a position of trust. Despite this though, um Christina after her booking, she was released on the condition that she has no contact with anybody under the age of 18 and that she does not enter the Downer's Grove High School ever again. The question is, do you think that the punishment would be the same if the genders were reversed or not? Okay, on that note and on that story though, I think it's I think it's time to open up hell again. But first are three Oh, the battery is about to die. Let me just change it quick. But first are three sacrificial lambs who voluntarily offer themselves up to remind everyone watching to subscribe or else. Now, usually if this is your first time watching, you know, the public whippings are much more like fierce and severe and they actually come with a whip, but we're not at home at the minute, so just bear with Alex. Put him there. Put him there. Remember, cats to subscribe to the channel. It's just not the same, is it, man? Alex, I don't know. There was some explosions when I do that or something to the Because last time, Alex, you I I whipped them with a balloon, right? And I really rely when I'm pathetic on this side, I really lean on you to make me better. And on that one, Alex, you you let me whip them with the balloon and you added nothing. It was just so like and I looked like a fool, a damn fool in front of hundreds of thousands of people. I'll never I'll never stop remembering that. I watched it and I was just [Music] like, it's just it's just sad. Not even like a like a whipping sound. Sometimes Alex does this on purpose. You know, maybe I maybe I give him too much editing and he's like, "You you know what? You don't even get a whip sound." Oh my god, this feels lame. To the channel bribe. Oh my god, this feels lame. to the channel. Bribe. Oh my god, this feels lame. Two. All right, I think it's time for some. And to start off with, we I'm sick of getting new things before GTA 6, but now we actually got GTA 6, but it's India GTA 6. Oh, now over the past few days, an account on Twitter called Trevor for Real has been posting videos of, you know, what GTA 6 would look like, but if it were set in India, and I'm not going to lie, you know what? I want GTA 6, but this one's pretty epic. It was made by AI, if you can't tell. She's very AI, but it still looks pretty chaotic. Like, we got grenade launchers, supercars rolling through the streets of Mumbai. We've got carjackings, mopeds, and bicycles. rolls in the street, driving in the freaking mountains, and even linking up with cashiers at your local corner stores. I mean, I'd play it. I'd goddamn play it. Next, Tik Tok was supposed to get banned this week again, but the reason hardly anyone spoke about it was because we knew it wasn't again. Trump signed yet another executive order delaying the ban by a further 75 days. So, it's just kind of like the drill now. See you in 75. Just ban it around. No, don't. Don't. I'm joking. Next. An American YouTuber was arrested this week after he illegally attempted to contact the isolated tribe of the North Sentinel Islands. And as you probably know, it's banned for everyone to go there because if you turn up, you know, as your little foreigner and you you're harboring your all your diseases and their immune system because they're so isolated, they don't have any of their immune, you know, defenses against the diseases that we hold. Well, you could just wipe them out like this has happened multiple times throughout history. Anyway, despite knowing this, Milky traveled there on a boat and then he left a Diet Coke and a coconut as an offering. He recorded his visit. He collected some sand samples and then departed. Local fishermen saw this [ __ ] and they said, "Nah, report police." He now faces charges that could result in up to 5 years in prison and a fine. And that is about that. That's your weekly rap. I hope you enjoyed it. I'll see you for a single episode in the middle of the week sometime. Just sometime. I love you. Thank you always for watching. And Alex and I will see you when we see you. Get out of the way, Fluff. [ __ ] off.